How to Decide Whether or Not You Should Become an Exotic Dancer
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Dec
25
2011
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Financial Freedom is a matter of what you do with the $100's in your g-string!
Becoming an exotic dancer is a wonderful opportunity to take control of your own life financially, emotionally, and physically. It requires no college education and many women become exotic dancers to pay their way through college. From women who’ve worked on Wall Street to women paying their way through school, pole dancing has saved so many women’s lives, careers, their homes, and even their children from the alternative of loosing their homes and their jobs in this economy.
The underworld of exotic dancing has emerged from a maze of mystery and misconception into the mainstream with media coverage from respected sources such as CNBC, OWN, FOX news and more. Unfortunately, every time a stripper says or does something “stupid” or “irresponsible” it ends up on the news and that hurts the “perception” of the industry. Few good stories have ever been reported but they amount to many all across the country and over the world. You will get the truth here!
The ultimate determining factor in Exotic Dancing’s credibility is the fact that there is a major chain of clubs that is publicly traded on NASDAQ – Rick’s Cabaret International. If exotic dancing was illegal and tangled in an underworld of drugs and crime, the FTC would have never allowed this company to become publicly traded.
I’ve been asked by my readers to create a video on how to decide if exotic dancing is for them. With all of the popularity and power you have as an exotic dancer it is as easy as ever to fall into the typical banes of society that fame and fortune from ANY industry bring you when you come into it quickly, including drugs, alcohol addiction and unprotected or irresponsible sex. Just think of how some actors, musicians and professional athletes have fallen into this lifestyle. It is because anytime people have monetary gain quickly they don’t appreciate the value of it as much, and can resort to irresponsible behavior that is not conducive to their overall success. This is called the Lottery Winner’s Syndrome.
Ultimately, these people will become their own worst enemy as typically they have their “Clinger-Ons” AKA “Entourages” to thank for draining their hard earned cash.
Climbing from the bottom to the top of this Freedom V stripper pole will earn you ultimate freedom!
I will help you to avoid this scenario if you heed my words in this post and approach Exotic Dancing as a true business. The core problem here is that most dancers, athletes, actors, musicians, and other entrepreneurs for that matter don’t approach their career as a long-term, logical goal that’s purpose is laser focused on improving their financial position in life as well as their emotional and physical well-being. 80% of businesses fail within the first 5 years of their existence. This includes the professions I mentioned above and more.
Don’t set yourself up for failure in Exotic Dancing! In my next posts I will reveal the top 10 ways that a new or veteran exotic dancer can get their act together and be more successful at their profession than they ever imagined! Use these principles to decide if this profession is right for you. If you cannot be single-mindedly focused on the below and avoid temptation if it comes at you, exotic dancing may not be for you.
-Exotic dancing is not for you if you have an addictive personality and cannot resist drugs or alcohol if it is presented to you.
-Exotic dancing is not for you if you have a low self worth and would accept offers for sexual favors in or outside of the club, as this is illegal and highly dangerous.
-Exotic dancing is not for you if you have extreme health problems that prohibit you from being able to be physically active and engaged in dancing in 6” heels.
-Exotic dancing is not for you if you cannot take rejection in a “sales environment.”
-Exotic Dancing IS for you if you want to gain financial freedom and become debt free or use your money to invest wisely.
-Exotic Dancing IS for you if you want to better yourself, improve your self-esteem, and learn how to socialize with high-end people.
-Exotic Dancing IS for you if you want to meet people from all walks of life, learn about how the world works and gain a charismatic edge in your personality.
-Exotic Dancing IS for you if you want to attain your best body EVER by getting in the best shape of your life.
-Exotic Dancing IS for you if you want to develop “thick skin” and get used to rejection and develop the resiliency you need to not take it personally.
Success in exotic dancing can bring you the lifestyle you always dreamed of, vacationing when and where you want, shopping at all of the high-end stores that you want and retiring as a young multi-millionaire to start and fund your own hobbies or businesses.
Success in Exotic Dancing will come at a price – hard work, long hours, and not socializing frivolously with your fellow dancers. It will require research, skill, motivation and a will to succeed in spite of all odds and societal stigmas. The industry needs responsible, intelligent, and beautiful women who enjoy what they do. So go forth and prosper already!
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[...] or other hobbies, and ultimately– you want to be someone. In my previous post entitled, How to Decide Whether or Not You Should Become an Exotic Dancer, I talked about some of the pitfalls and pros of the trade and how to steer clear of making the [...]
and oh, if you want a pic to show with your comment, go get a gravatar!
Dear Jennifer,
I’m a college professor interested in the evolutionary psychology of human sexuality. I just came across your video series. It is very interesting, and I think that it is helpful to aspiring exotic dancers. I have a few suggestions that you may want to consider, but first let me explain something about myself.
For the last 2 years I have frequented many gentlemen’s clubs in several states for 4 reasons: 1) Against great odds, and to my total surprise, the very 1st exotic dancer I met, when visiting a club for the 1st time while on vacation, did NOT in any way fit any negative stereotype, 2) this led me to wonder in what way was she similar and different from other exotic dancers and women in general, 3) which led me to the question—how prevalent is the negative stereotype?, and 4) the more I got to know exotic dancers, the more obvious it was to me that there is a great diversity of personalities, attitudes, and backgrounds among dancers. These characteristics seemed to be shared by women in general.
These experiences have help me to formulate certain hypotheses about human sexual behavior that appear to have a strong genetic and evolutionary basis rather than cultural. At different upscale and neighborhood clubs, I have gotten to know over 15 dancers quite well, and accepted lap dances (only in couch or VIP rooms, never table dances) from over 50 dancers, and I did about 30 champagne rooms.
This all transpired with blessing of the 1st dancer I met (who from which I only got 2 tame, nude lap dances and 1 pretty tame, but nude, champagne room experience). Against all odds, and to dismay of most of my friends and family, over the last 2 years she has become my closest woman friend, my student mentee, and my traveling/vacation companion (who knows…maybe we’ll marry some day, even though she lives in another state!). She is now a part-time dancer and full-time college student! One day she may become a physician, or some other type of professional health care worker.
I also developed a close friendship with another dancer; had to turn down the genuine romantic advances of yet another dancer; avoid seduction by several dancers who were insincere and tried to gain my favor and money in an unacceptably manipulative ways; and I also became too sympathetic and paternal towards a dancer caught up in a vicious cycle, but who just wouldn’t listen to good and caring advice.
Please forgive me, but to protect my identity, I am using a pseudonym for my last name. But my first name really is John! This brings me to some suggestion I have for you. I listened to 6 or your 8 videos, and did not hear you give advice about a dancer revealing her real name. In regard to that and other matters I suggest the following:
1) When a customer asks for a real name, that a dancer perhaps could tell him her real first name, but politely decline to give a last name when requested. However, with the condition that she may be willing to do so later, if she eventually develops a trusting, long-term customer relationship with him.
2) Also, once a man becomes a regular customer, if he asks her out to dinner, or wants to develop a true friendship outside the club, but she is not interested, she should tell him that she appreciates his attention, but that she prefers to keep work and home life separate. This is similar to the way some good, friendly bartenders are, or even the way a professor tends interact with students.
3) Contrary to the general advice given by many in the business, as well as what you seem to imply, I would NOT recommend that a dancer should always stay away from developing personal or true friendships with a customer. A blanket statement that a dancer should avoid personal relationships with a customer is too black and white. Also a dancer definitely should not lie about her marital or boyfriend status if asked, but simply try to avoid or change the topic, if possible.
4) Although probably 95% of customers are not interested in developing true friendships with a dancer, on a rare occasion this actually happens and can be a good thing for both individuals. I know 4 men who originally were customers and married dancers, then later became bouncers or managers of club. My dancer friends knows of 3 good marriages between dancers and professional men. As I said, I myself have 2 close friendships (out of town clubs) and several casual friendships with dancers from my neighborhood gentlemen’s club.
5) Most customers, even wealthy, older, and seemingly respectful customers do NOT truly respect exotic dancers. This I’m convinced is part of a man’s nature and cultural tendency. Only a few exceptional, unique, and sensitive men are not bigots in this respect, or can overcome the culturally constructed negative stereotype and learn to respect dancers. Also, most people in the general public and local community look down on dancers, and it would be wise for a dancer not to reveal that they are dancers if they can avoid doing so. Most dancers I know either avoid, or regret being open, about their profession because they have experienced or heard of negative consequences. Most lead a secret life in this respect. The student who dances in another town, the real estate agent who does the same and so forth! Gay people today are accepted by our society more so than exotic dancers! Exotic dancing is still considered taboo!!
6) Anywhere from 40 to 70 % of exotic dancers, depending on the club, do in fact exhibit some of the negative stereotypic characteristics the public has come to expect. These are most notably excessive manipulation, lying, and drug use. Dancers are there mostly to make money, but excessive manipulation and lying, work only in the short run. When a customer feels like he has been scammed, he will advertise that fact to other customers! Most customers accept a make-believe or fantasy relationship. That’s fine to him as long as it’s relatively clear to him that the dancer is NOT over-pretending, or isn’t promising more than she is actually willing to give.
7) Several dancers who worked in clubs in Miami and the Fort Lauderdale area (not Key West), have told me that almost every club they worked at or tried to work at were shady, even the upscale gentlemen’s clubs. Also, ANY club might be run by a manager who is not on the side of the dancer’s interest and may get upset if a customer complains that she wasn’t willing to have sex in the champagne room. In fact, this was a very common complaint among dancers who tried to work in Miami and Fort Lauderdale. Also, all dancers will eventually be solicited and/or be called a prostitute by a customer if she works long enough. They have to develop a tough skin!!! I don’t know how many times, I felt like punching a customer when I over heard him solicit a dancer or call one a prostitute. Customers from certain states also tend to be less respectful…namely rich Texans and customers who are from South Florida or those that frequent those clubs. I know you can’t say this on your website!!
Thanks for reading this, and I hope that it will be useful. By the way you’re very “videogenic” and you offer some great advice on your website!!
Sincerely
John Stone
John,
WOW! I am so flattered and impressed by your stream of intellect and the time it must have taken you to compose such a work of art!
I plan on giving you a more detailed reply when I have more time to analyze your work, but in the meantime, I agree with much of what you have said. I really like your comment on the authenticity of interacting with customers. It is true – if you come across as fake, manipulative and not genuine it ruins the experience.
Have a happy new year! My more detailed response will come soon…
Dear John,
I have found your post above to be very accurate. Very few things are ever as black and white as any ideology would convince you to believe. For my purposes I must teach within the moral and legal limits established by federal and state laws as clubs do have problems with some dancers getting too comfortable and friendly with their customers. It is like any other business – the good managers and owners are constantly fighting off the funny business and they are running honest businesses, where some owners and managers will turn their heads to what is going on because they think that a) they will lose girls or b) they will lose business. Neither of the former is true. The more strict that clubs are on pandering the more room our industry will have to thrive and serve it’s purpose – to provide a clean, fun, fantasy experience for their guests similar to the experience one has when they visit a Hooters. I don’t think Hooters is doing too bad as a company!
If our industry could hit a “reset” button and go completely clean – it would not hurt business in the long run by any means. It would only make it grow because then, they are playing by the rules that our country has created to keep people safe, keep business functioning properly, and a lot of this terrible stigma would go away as well. The casinos have done this to a large extent and they are doing better than EVER. Our industry will be next.
The harsh truth of the matter is that the ladies who make the MOST money in the clubs ARE the ones who are making an honest living and not violating any of their local laws. In my case, I had regular clientele that would pay me for hours to keep my top ON, because they were so enthralled in our fantasy together. Not every customer was like that but I found a good handful that would come in regularly for me to enjoy some clean, topless fun. Just about every movie and TV show has topless women on full display these days, I don’t understand why people get so bent out of shape about it.
I am glad to hear that there are successful relationships between dancers and business men. This is what I have always recommended to my ladies! To find an older gentlemen that is NOT jealous that can help them through their career and to show them how to conduct themselves like business women. Today’s entertainer is the average age of 24 and they know little about what it takes to run a company, budget their money, and invest for their futures. Being around the right people is the key to survival in this arena.
Yes – most men treat dancers like a piece of fine meat, but it comes with the trade. The dancers treat customers like they are a big fat wallet and nothing more, so I think it’s even across the board. Everyone knows the game they are playing when they get into the business or go into a club, it’s the few genuine and nice customers and dancers that end up doing really well and making something of their lives!
People are their own worst enemies. I am leading the way in Dancer Development and Education to help these ladies and these clubs to work together the right way. All our ladies need is a little sales training and a reason for exotic dancing. If they have a business they want to start, or if they want to pay their college tuition, or fund a hobby or trade, it gives them motivation to be better, smarter, and pursue something in their lives that makes them happy and fulfilled. When they are doing all of these things that will come across to the customer and make the customers happy because they know their entertainer WANTS to be there!
Thank you so much John and I do hope to hear from you again!
Jennifer