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Toxic Coworkers: Top 3 Ways to Deal with This as a Stripper

Jan 29 2013
By :
Toxic Coworkers Exotic Dancers

I'm sure you've seen this before! It's better to diffuse the conflict rather than get into a cat fight!

By Jennifer McCumber.  Some people who work in the gentlemen’s club industry aren’t exactly the most amiable individuals. There will be many of your coworkers who will be rough around the edges, snobbish, rude, belligerent, uncouth, and downright mean. I haven’t had too many issues with this, but the instances that I have dealt with are certainly worth mentioning.

Public humiliation isn’t a matter of if it happens, but when. Even your clients will do it sometimes. I remember walking through the door to my dressing room one night to get dressed and ready for action. I put on my sexiest outfit – which is, in fact, pictured all over the blog as one of my top five best outfits. When I walked out of the dressing room, another dancer said to me, “You know, I think you’re getting too big in the shoulders. Don’t you think you need to tone it down on the workouts?”

She said this to me this in front of ALL of the other dancers. And was dead serious. Everyone just kind of stopped what they were doing and looked at us, and I was so embarrassed.  Of course, she herself was only five feet tall and very out of shape. In my heels, I’m 6’2’’, and standing next to her I made her seem like a dwarf in comparison. I was also just starting out with my fitness modeling routines, and had just gotten back from Venice, CA.

Jenn McCumber stripping instructor

This is the outfit that I looked too "manly" in. I don't think so! Ha ha!

I blew it off, which is certainly one way to handle it. The other way would be to stand up for myself, which I was never really good at doing, especially growing up. I had also had toxic boyfriends in the past that tried to rule me, change me, and tell me that I wasn’t good enough just being me.

Isn’t it funny how we never think to say what we really want to say when we are in these situations? You always think about it later and wish you would have ripped into them!

But then, that isn’t a good solution either, especially since you will have to work with these people. It’s not a good idea to burn bridges, or even pass along gossip. Trust me, news travels fast about what he said/she said.

All in all, The best way to deal with these situations is:

1.    Get the offender away from the scene and away from other people.

2.    Ask them in private, “Well, what did you really mean by that?” Let them talk. Don’t put them on the defensive or cast blame. Give them a chance to apologize or explain.

3.    Let them know if they have something derogatory to say, to at least tell you in private or call you. By saying this in front of your coworkers, it just puts everyone in an uncomfortable spot.

If they still choose to disrespect you:

1.    Just blow this person off and keep the relationship as businesslike as possible; i.e. “hello,” “goodbye,” etc.

2.    Request not to work with them anymore if possible, and only be around them if you have to.

3.    Don’t tip this person out as much as you do others if applicable: if you walk softly and carry a big stick, i.e. not being mean or confrontational, but hitting them in the pocket where it hurts, then they will back off.

4.    Know that you don’t have to deal with these people for very long, and then don’t worry about it. Turn your nervous energy into lap dances and VIPs! Let it make you better at what you do.

YOUR FEEDBACK IS VERY IMPORTANT TO US – please comment on the blog below with any questions or concerns that you have!  Strippers from around the world are bound to chime in on the discussion!

You can find more in depth videos, education and training on our blog under the following categories in the navigation bar:

Freedom V

Champagne Inner Circle

This is Jennifer McCumber Here wishing you the best of success!

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Jennifer McCumber on the DJ Platypus Show: How To Make More Money Now By Building a Better Exotic Dancer

Jan 24 2013
By :
Jennifer McCumber featured on the Planet Platypus Radio Show

"If Cash Is King, the Entertainers Are Queen"

By Jennifer McCumber.  I had the privilege of being featured on the DJ Platypus Radio Show on Tuesday night and it JUST came out for your listening pleasure!  But we’ll get to the show in a moment!

DJ Platypus is one of the most legendary DJs in the Strip Club industry, working for Rick’s Cabaret at Tootsie’s in Miami and managing all of the other DJs in the Rick’s Cabaret Chain – now 36 clubs strong.  One hell of an achievement.  And he does an outstanding job at it.

This particular show was revolutionary and very vital to our industry in a few ways.  One, it shows how when the going gets tough, we stick together and support each other like a family.

Daisy Duxe, one of the hosts of the weekly show and also now the marketing director of Tootsie’s Cabaret in Miami, FL, almost didn’t make it after going to the hospital and had to be put on borer-line life support for an intense kidney infection and all other kinds of things that went wrong with the beautiful, young and intelligent lady.

She managed to call into the show last night and for the first 20 minutes of the show Plat, Johnny Walker and Mr. and Mrs. Voice spoke with her over the phone from her hospital bed where she is finally recovering.  What a trooper!

As promised, I said on Facebook that I would mention WHY I feel her pain.  It’s one of the reasons you ladies out there shouldn’t take your career for granted because your body has a limited amount of years to do this kind of work.  You are an athlete, a businesswoman and an entertainer all in one!  It’s easy to feel invincible and on cloud nine when you’re on stage, but the one thing we cannot escape is our own immortality.

This is the REAL reason why you've seen me wear scarves in some of my videos! Don't worry though, the battle scars are healing now!

Late last year I was hospitalized and had to have two neck surgeries due to some athletic injuries to fix a condition called Thoracic Outlet Syndrome.  I didn’t have the fatal kind, but it can turn fatal if left untreated, and just the pain and suffering of being in the hospital sick, having a 6-7 hour surgery twice, and being in excruciating pain – I truly felt sorry and I felt her pain as she was finally able to talk over the phone for the first segment of our show on Tuesday.

When times get tough you really appreciate your health and you certainly won’t ever take it for granted again.  The opportunity to exotic dance is a very limited time – 10, 15 years if you’re lucky, which is why we talked about what we did on the show – how can we build a better exotic dancer NOW?  How can strip clubs make more money NOW?  If CASH is KING, the entertainers are certainly QUEEN, and the issue in our industry MUST be addressed about how we can create a win-win situation with clubs AND exotic dancers working TOGETHER to make their customers happy, and come back over and over again!

Without further ado, you can listen to the show by clicking =>HERE<= or the picture below!  Our segment starts at 20 minutes into the show!

Jennifer McCumber on Planet Platypus Radio

The One and Only DJ Platypus Radio Show!

EXPO Panel Sessions in 2010!

From exciting stripper tales to my experiences at doing rock-star style, transformational seminars at clubs, the main theme of the show was how clubs can attract and build the best entertainers possible.  The DJ Plat crew got to know me last night for the first time (it was a virginal experience!) and they all came to the conclusion that Freedom V and the following top 10 principles (although they didn’t get to ALL of them last night on the show) is what the industry needs to solve their entertainer problems and raise their bottom line.

Ladies – I’m going to address the club owners and managers for a moment and I want to hear your feedback and comments on the blog as to what you think of these 10 things.  Do you have them at your club?  If you DON’T and you did, would you feel more motivated and incentivised to work longer and harder to reap more rewards?  IE More money!?  Because if you haven’t realized this already, how much money the club makes is in direct proportion to how much YOU will make as an entertainer.  You are irrevocably linked and when one suffers the other suffers.  So…

Whether you’re a blue-collar club or part of a major club chain, there’s virtually no adult night club that wouldn’t want to add more quality entertainers to their current “line-up” of girls, no matter how crowded their dressing room is on a Saturday night.  So what do you do to attract the best entertainers to work in YOUR club over another?  What are the top 10 ways to build a better stripper and love the ones you’re with?

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How to be a Law Savvy Stripper: Naked Truth by Judith Lynne Hanna

Jul 13 2012
By :


Naked Truth strip clubs democracy strippers

Naked Truth is a must-read for everyone in our industry!

Naked Truth by Dr. Judith Lynne Hanna WILL SHOCK YOU!  I am personally giving you a mandatory homework assignment to read this book ASAP.  This book will not only reveal the finite beauty, grace and ethical professionalism of exotic dancing today, but it also downright demystifies the profession and disproves the untrue stigmas that have so often been assigned as ammunition against women who are exotic dancers.

Dr. Hanna does an outstanding job at explaining all of the reasons why certain sects of society have claimed exotic dancing is so evil and wrong.  These activists have not been able to stop our industry from growing because of the first amendment, but they have caused quite a problem by basing their assaults on THEIR OWN PARTICULAR religious values rather than our country’s legal values, and other notions of fiction that don’t exist in the present day.

With Dr. Hanna’s background in Political Science, a doctorate in Anthropology, and her study of VARIOUS dancing genres all over the world since she was a child, she has been able to put to words her method of explaining why exotic dance is simply an evolution of dancing in general, much the way belly dancing used to be considered “risque” and is now widely accepted as part of entertainment in America.  You can even take college classes to learn belly dancing!  I did when I was in college!

The fact of the matter is that exotic dance is part of the privilege we have as freedom of expression and freedom of speech as defined in the first Amendment of the US ConstitutionWe’re not forced into it nor are we prostitutes.  We’re simply providing a professional level of entertainment that is in high demand, without compromising any laws or ethical business standards.

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Exotic Dancing Becomes Socially Acceptable from Society Shifts

Mar 13 2012
By :
YouTube Preview Image

From women who’ve worked on Wall Street to women paying their way through college, exotic dancing has saved many women’s lives, careers, and even their children from the alternative of moms loosing their homes and even their jobs in this economy.  All without having to compromise their moral values like in much of the infamous myths about this profession!

If you are apprehensive about doing this business of exotic dance I completely understand! Or maybe you have taken the plunge and there are people in your life that have a big problem with it.  This apprehension happens mostly because society has always trained women to do only what is traditionally considered ladylike, socially acceptable, and polite. This is why most women in the previous century were either teachers, nurses, or secretaries – not that those things are bad at all – but what if a lady didn’t want to do that?  What if she wanted to be an engineer?  Too Bad – secretary school for her!   Women were also told to cover their ankles and shoulders because it was provocative.  I say that trying to control women’s decisions, lives, and limiting their options of FREEDOM for the sake of ego, power, and medieval ideals is the most horrid evil around!  However, things are a lot different now than they used to be, and there are quite a few examples of this.

McCumber working at Hooters

Here I am as a Hooters Girl in College!

Consider the following points of reference.

Working at Hooters. Before I became an exotic dancer, like so many young college women today, around my sophomore year in college I became a Hooters girl. The truth is that exotic dancing is very similar to a Hooters waitressing job; really there is not a huge difference between the two. You wear tight clothes, show cleavage, promote a fun atmosphere – and you get hit on by the clientele quite a bit. At Hooters there are many beautiful women all working in one place, and men come there seeking interaction and entertainment.

At Hooters, there are beautiful, friendly women working there that men avidly come in to talk to. These women give men a “GFE”—girlfriend experience—with an attractive young lady who will simply sit down with them and talk to them about their day. This is exactly what exotic dancers do. We will show men or women that we are interested in who they are and what they have to say, not just in selling them our looks, food, or drinks.

There is, however, one major difference: the income! It’s amazing that I worked hundreds of hours at Hooters during my two–year stay, but within the first few months of being a dancer I made much more money than I ever could have dreamed of making at Hooters.

This is just one example of how exotic dancing is like any other established, respectable business. It all comes down to sales and marketing: The business aspect of exotic dancing is like running and promoting any other company, and it is the best business education you can get as a young person because there is little risk, no going into debt, no overhead and you have no employees. Just you, starting with the basics and learning how to be independently wealthy without the headache of having to get a business loan or please investors on the chance that you might make a profit.

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Why Exotic Dancers Should Vote the Conservative Ticket in the Presidential Election of 2012

Mar 8 2012
By :

YouTube Preview Image

Exotic Dancers for President!

Now doesn't this make politics a lot more fun? 😉

Who are you thinking about voting for in the election of 2012?  That is a very personal question and one meant for your personal reflection rather than public acknowledgement.  Since this will be the most important presidential election of our time most likely – I have felt the need to reveal some riveting stories, facts, and unique perspective as politics greatly affects the survival of our exotic dancer industry – and how much money you can bring home as a stripper!

 

When I was in college and in my early twenties, I was as liberal as liberal could be.  I was part of the new “social media liberal arts college movement” that was harkening the arrival of what would be Barack Obama, our agent of change.  I remember when his book, The Audacity of Hope, came out about one to two years before he ran for president.  I read it ferociously, agreeing with the ideologies of leading with fairness for all.

 

The reason?  Simply this:  I was rebelling against hypocritical religious dogma, judgmental social circles, and closed-minded individuals that told me how to run my life.  I was brought up in extremist churches where drinking, dancing, and watching rated R movies was a sin.  Sex before marriage was a sin.  Listening to secular music was sinful as well.

 

liberal vs concervative

This is what the media, my friends, and some of my college professors told me about how being liberal was different than being conservative - and I fell for it!

I became a music major and surrounded myself with the creative, the dramatic and the liberal.  I began to abhor people who looked down on homosexuals, women’s choice, and a plethora of other things that seemed to be fun to do in college!

 

I was dating a guy at the time who proclaimed he would vote for Hillary Clinton and take advantage of government programs.  He was the kind of guy that wanted to milk “the system” if he could.  He could never keep a consistent job.  He always quit everything he started.

 

Even though I developed these strong political beliefs as a twenty-something year old, I didn’t have the slightest clue about what national debt meant.  I even had one of my graduate school classmates tell me that the national deficit wasn’t a big deal – and that people blow it out of proportion as to how it affects us as individuals in this country.

 

I hadn’t the slightest idea what stock market values and tax rates meant.  I always made below $20k per year working part time in college to pay my living expenses as I had an academic scholarship that paid for a large portion of my education.

 

I always thought that the stock market and tax rates would have little to do with me!  After all, I wasn’t some company on Wall Street or part of the percentage of the population that gets taxed 35% of their income, not including whatever their state income tax was.  I grew up in Florida, which doesn’t have state income tax so I didn’t even know that state income tax existed – and must be filed on a separate form from federal income tax.

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My Stripping Stories and How Women Today are Approaching Pole Dancing as a Career

Jan 24 2012
By :
YouTube Preview Image
Pole Dancer Stripper

Exotic Dancing isn't as bad as the stigmas would have you believe!

Many of my Stripping Stories on how women today are approaching pole dancing as a career will shock you – including my own. From women who’ve worked on Wall Street to women paying their way through college, you will learn why pole dancing has saved so many women’s lives, careers, their homes, and even their children from the alternative of loosing their homes and their jobs in this economy. The underworld of exotic dancing has emerged from a maze of mystery and misconception into the mainstream with media coverage from respected sources such as CNBC, OWN, FOX news and more.

The first time the opportunity to try exotic dancing was presented to me after I graduated from college at age 25, I swore I would never do such a thing. I thought it was wrong – dirty, unhealthy and unsafe. It was, perhaps surprisingly, my fiance who suggested it to me after he had consulted with one of our dancer friends about the cleanliness and high standards of our local business club. He knew I was on the “30-year mortgage plan” with my student loans and credit card debt, and he wanted to empower me.  But – the point here is – like so many closed minded individuals today, I had never been to a club and I automatically assumed that it was nothing but pimping, whoring and drug use. I was abhorred at the suggestion and shot it down rather quickly.

Reluctantly we went to our local club and started talking to one of the bouncers. The bouncer thought we were really cool so he went and got the head manager. The manager could see that we were serious and professional, and finally he asked me, “What can I do to get you on my stage?” I was flabbergasted!  I thought the prospective dancers asked him that question!  Come to find out they do – but I stood out somehow.

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Lap Dances are a Worthy Art Form Both Physically and Legally

Dec 10 2011
By :
Jennifer McCumber Lap Dancing

And they're saying THIS doesn't take skills?!

We had the pleasure of making Bloomberg News in regards to the debate, “Is Lap Dancing Art?”   Just take a look at the pictures and videos in this blog post for your answer!  “Here’s Your Sign!”

This is what we told Bloomberg:  “To make a lap dance work, I had to combine concepts from gymnastics, things I learned from pole dancing, belly dancing I learned in college and even martial arts,” McCumber said in a telephone interview. “You have to have physical and mental agility to perform, while also making it seductive and alluring.”

A prominent dance anthropologist and professor at the University of Maryland who specializes in studying all types of dance, Judith Hanna, has stated:

“Exotic dance shares with virtually all dance genres the fact that it is a purposeful, intentionally rhythmical, culturally patterned, nonverbal, body movement communication in time and space.  It conveys meaning by the use of space, touch, proximity to an observer, nudity, stillness and specific body movements.”

Coming from an artistic education background myself, it is a shame that exotic dancing has been marginalized for the nudity it contains, as if nudity were bad in and of itself.  That’s like saying guns kill people.  I have news for you:  people kill people!  We are all born nude, we shower nude, we were walking around nude before people told us we had to do otherwise.  It is completely natural and evolved to be able to openly express nudity in art.  Nudity is contained in Operas, musicals, theater, most movies that you go and see, and it is all over cable TV.  So why is it that when it happens in real life in a gentlemen’s club, people get all bent out of shape?

Eric Langan, CEO of Rick’s Cabaret even states in the Bloomberg article

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Strip Club Pitches Pole Tax for Education

May 15 2010
By :

It has come to my attention that we Strippers have a lot to learn in the political arena. So hold on tight!  I’m going to analyze and asses this situation as unbiased as possible, because I only care about the facts and if 1+2=3.

I think it is great that there are strippers out there that want to change the world.  Especially to better the world for kids.  You can see the video below to get the scoop.

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WHAT ARE YOU REALLY AFRAID OF? A PERSPECTIVE ON Society’s PARADIGM SHIFTS.

Mar 7 2010
By :

If you are apprehensive about doing this business of exotic dance I completely understand! Or maybe you have taken the plunge and there are people in your life that have a big problem with it.  This apprehension happens mostly because society has always trained women to do only what is traditionally considered ladylike, socially acceptable, and polite. This is why most women in the previous century were either teachers, nurses, or secretaries – not that those things are bad at all – but what if a lady didn’t want to do that?  What if she wanted to be an engineer?  Too Bad – secretary school for her!   Women were also told to cover their ankles and shoulders because it was provocative.  I say that trying to control women’s decisions, lives, and limiting their options of FREEDOM for the sake of ego, power, and medieval ideals is the most horrid evil around!  However, things are a lot different now than they used to be, and there are quite a few examples of this.

Consider the following:

Point of Reference: Working at Hooters. Before I became an exotic dancer, like so many young college women today, around my sophomore year in college I became a Hooters girl. The truth is that exotic dancing is very similar to a Hooters waitressing job; really there is not a huge difference between the two. You wear tight clothes, show cleavage, promote a fun atmosphere – and you get hit on by the clientele quite a bit. At Hooters there are many beautiful women all working in one place, and men come there seeking interaction and entertainment.

Click here to read more >>

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