Your Boyfriend as a Stripper: The Top 5 Standards You Should Have
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Mar
6
2013
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The great sex, partying, or whatever you do with an under-par boyfriend is never worth the effort. Find a man that lifts you up in life, not one who puts you down.
(by Jennifer McCumber) I’ve heard enough and I’ve seen enough in strip clubs, strippers personal lives, and the drama and devastation that exotic dancers can face when they have a boyfriend that is leaching off of them either emotionally or monetarily. You may have a boyfriend that is jealous of what you do, or you may have gone on dates where a guy just can’t handle the fact that you are a stripper.
You may even be supporting a boyfriend, letting them live at your apartment or house for free, all while they spend all day playing Wii or having a job that is a low-paying job where they aren’t going anywhere but down or staying stagnant in their lives.
Whatever the case may be for you in particular, like if you have fights all of the time with the man in your life, or breaking up and getting back together – whatever – I have been there and I can tell you that it really sucks. It also affects your self esteem and your income in the club.
When you are around people that bring you down in life, that is exactly where YOU will end up, wondering what will become of your life and if your dreams will ever become a reality.
So, after I got rid of the downer men in my life and found a fantastic one, I thought about all of the positive things that he has done for me, my career, and my mental outlook and I want to share these things with you so that you too can find someone that genuinely cares about you more than just your body.
It’s time to take out the garbage ladies!
Standard Number One: He must
Click here to read more >>Toxic Coworkers: Top 3 Ways to Deal with This as a Stripper
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Jan
29
2013
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I'm sure you've seen this before! It's better to diffuse the conflict rather than get into a cat fight!
By Jennifer McCumber. Some people who work in the gentlemen’s club industry aren’t exactly the most amiable individuals. There will be many of your coworkers who will be rough around the edges, snobbish, rude, belligerent, uncouth, and downright mean. I haven’t had too many issues with this, but the instances that I have dealt with are certainly worth mentioning.
Public humiliation isn’t a matter of if it happens, but when. Even your clients will do it sometimes. I remember walking through the door to my dressing room one night to get dressed and ready for action. I put on my sexiest outfit – which is, in fact, pictured all over the blog as one of my top five best outfits. When I walked out of the dressing room, another dancer said to me, “You know, I think you’re getting too big in the shoulders. Don’t you think you need to tone it down on the workouts?”
She said this to me this in front of ALL of the other dancers. And was dead serious. Everyone just kind of stopped what they were doing and looked at us, and I was so embarrassed. Of course, she herself was only five feet tall and very out of shape. In my heels, I’m 6’2’’, and standing next to her I made her seem like a dwarf in comparison. I was also just starting out with my fitness modeling routines, and had just gotten back from Venice, CA.
This is the outfit that I looked too "manly" in. I don't think so! Ha ha!
I blew it off, which is certainly one way to handle it. The other way would be to stand up for myself, which I was never really good at doing, especially growing up. I had also had toxic boyfriends in the past that tried to rule me, change me, and tell me that I wasn’t good enough just being me.
Isn’t it funny how we never think to say what we really want to say when we are in these situations? You always think about it later and wish you would have ripped into them!
But then, that isn’t a good solution either, especially since you will have to work with these people. It’s not a good idea to burn bridges, or even pass along gossip. Trust me, news travels fast about what he said/she said.
All in all, The best way to deal with these situations is:
1. Get the offender away from the scene and away from other people.
2. Ask them in private, “Well, what did you really mean by that?” Let them talk. Don’t put them on the defensive or cast blame. Give them a chance to apologize or explain.
3. Let them know if they have something derogatory to say, to at least tell you in private or call you. By saying this in front of your coworkers, it just puts everyone in an uncomfortable spot.
If they still choose to disrespect you:
1. Just blow this person off and keep the relationship as businesslike as possible; i.e. “hello,” “goodbye,” etc.
2. Request not to work with them anymore if possible, and only be around them if you have to.
3. Don’t tip this person out as much as you do others if applicable: if you walk softly and carry a big stick, i.e. not being mean or confrontational, but hitting them in the pocket where it hurts, then they will back off.
4. Know that you don’t have to deal with these people for very long, and then don’t worry about it. Turn your nervous energy into lap dances and VIPs! Let it make you better at what you do.
YOUR FEEDBACK IS VERY IMPORTANT TO US – please comment on the blog below with any questions or concerns that you have! Strippers from around the world are bound to chime in on the discussion!
You can find more in depth videos, education and training on our blog under the following categories in the navigation bar:
This is Jennifer McCumber Here wishing you the best of success!
Click here to read more >>How to Be a Stripper: 11 Safety Tips You Need to Survive!
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Nov
29
2012
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I have gotten a good number of questions about how to be safe as a stripper. It’s very important to take some safety precautions – but just remember – a strip club is one of the safest places you can be because you are surrounded by trained security! Bouncers know how to handle and diffuse most conflicts that arise in the club. But YOU still need to do YOUR part by utilizing these top safety tips and ALWAYS use your own common sense.
Keep in mind – these safety tips are not just for strippers, they are for all men and women who go out at night and are for any profession that works late.
No matter what - never reveal your personal information. This is why it helps to come up with a realistic stage name.
Don’t interpret this video as a cause for fear, paranoia, or apprehension to become a stripper…
…because that’s not what this is about. You can’t be afraid to live your life. But if you are smart and you heed my advice, as the police officers that I consulted with would agree, you can save your own life, someone else’s life, or at the very least some unnecessary heartache.
1. Keep your personal information personal. There is a reason why clubs ask you to choose a stage name. Don’t tell your customers your real name, where you live, or regular places you go. You need to create a fantasy life that your stripper persona leads and make it different from your real self. You can still BE yourself in doing this. I’m not saying you should be fake. I’m just saying to use your common sense and keep your personal information to yourself.
Yucky...
2. Don’t drink beyond your own limit of control. If you’re under 21 you shouldn’t be drinking at ALL in the US. It’s ok if you’re of age to have a drink or two with your customer, but you know your own limits and that will be different for everyone. I have seen many dancers get their money stolen from not being responsive enough to notice how they are managing their time in the club, among the many other obvious reasons to avoid getting out of control. You need your thinking cap ON and you can’t do that if you’re drunk! Also Avoid drinking before you drive home and if you do, just call a cab and come and get your car later with a friend.
Call or text someone you trust.
3. Call or text someone when you leave to go to work, when you leave work to go home, and upon your arrival home. This is very important because you can check in with someone to make sure you are safe. Communicating consistently like this can save your life because if something ever DID happen, response time is key and every second matters.
Keep Your Eyes Peeled!
4. Watch your rear view mirror as you drive home at night to make sure you are not being followed, and alternate your routes going home. This is what any police officer will tell anyone as they are traveling to and from work in the later hours. It’s part of being aware of your surroundings and using common sense to avoid disasters.
They are buff!
5. Have a bouncer escort you to your car at night after your shift. This is something that my home club in Louisiana was especially particular about. They wouldn’t even let any of us out of the club after our shift until the entire parking lot was cleared of customers! Most clubs don’t take it this far, but please DO make sure that you have a male escort or bouncer watching you as you get into your car, or that you walk in numbers to your car.
Click here to read more >>
